I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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