rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
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