i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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