Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
