Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
