when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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