I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
