Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
