Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
