if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
