ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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