as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
vagina is talking i cant
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
