were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
