Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
