It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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