If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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