everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
