FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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