I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
that may or may not have been my penis.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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