is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
