the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize