Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
