im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
