So drunk its hurt
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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