i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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