If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
