We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I love having hate sex.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
