it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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