I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize