I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
