Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
They are going to name an STD after you.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
