From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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