I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
operation have a gay friend backfired
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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