Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
