OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
