I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
