i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize