a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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