goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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