I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
