Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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