We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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