we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
