First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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