I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
