Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
