The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
