so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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