who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
