I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I want a musical about memes.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
