I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
