Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
