My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
