butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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