So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
