he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
