i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
