My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
