so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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