why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
