I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize